on writing

[kaixo]

This is for me, really, and no one else.



Actually, I have finished this fic. I'm actually ahead of schedule. The idea was to finish it by the end of this month and send it to my beta for editing. Things I've learnt doing this fic:

• I'm not a long-form fic writer at all¹. For long-form fiction, you have to keep the tension in play amongst characters all the time. I found myself having to put in tension to move along the scenes and make them work


• Cheerleaders and accountability are important when it comes to big works. With this fic, because of the scope of it (for me) was relatively overwhelming, I needed to report to someone. Also, because I knew they were going to ask, it forced me to really kick on, because I hate breaking promises. I am going to apply this to other aspects of my life, tbh. Especially language learning


• This is the longest I've been with a fic from it being finished to it not being posted. Normally, a finished work gets posted about 48 hours later. It's been two weeks with this one. The good thing is, it's forced me to tinker and smooth out things, so whenever it finally gets posted, it's better than what it would have been


• My feelings during this work have swung from full-bodied passion to resentment to resignation and ended at relief. I am still too close to this story to know if I truly love it or not. But I'm glad I did it

¹ _{on average, my fanfic goes from 5-10k words. I can tell a decent story in these words. The most I've written before this has been about 23k words? This story will be 47-48k I think}